Mental Health and Relationships...

Hi lovelies,

Today I wanted to write about something a little bit different - Mental health and the effect that it has on your relationships - both in terms of romantic relationships as well as relationships with family and friends.

For me making friends has always been an impossible task. As someone who has suffered from social anxiety for as long as I can remember the thought of having to go and introduce myself to someone new has always been petrifying. Don't get me wrong I have a few friends from school and thanks to the internet I have a few friends online but yeah, lets face it I'm not exactly the most popular person. I'm absolutely rubbish at 'Small talk' and tend to just end up awkwardly laughing and not being able to think of anything to say. Online I try and stay friends with people but all my internet friends just tend to end up getting bored of me and leaving anyway.

For me the hardest thing about mental health issues is trying to form romantic relationships. I'm 19 and aside from the 'oh lets hold hand in the playground' type relationships back at school I've only had two proper relationships. I've been with my current boyfriend over a year (we met online) but even now my mental health effects the relationship on a day to day basis. My depression makes me down and it makes it harder for me to show love. Anxiety makes me constantly paranoid and overly clingy, It makes me need constant reassurance and attention. It makes me get jealous to easily and makes me paranoid. It annoys my partner too much and has a couple of times bought our relationship to the breaking point.

Luckily we are pretty strong and he has some how still managed to put up with me this long but honestly it is so hard. To many people it may look like you're being rude when really you're just anxious or depressed. The littlest things can set you off and it's just so emotionally draining you just end up thinking 'whats the point' and giving up on everything'.

If I ever stop talking to you I probably think you're mad at me, or fed up of me.

I'm sorry to all of my friends who have to put up with this.

I'm trying.

Keep fighting guys, love you.

xxxx