New Hair, Disney Nails and the Daily Struggles of Social Anxiety...

Hi lovelies...

This weekend I faced my fears. I got my haircut and my nails done! Many of you right now are probably thinking 'what's scary about getting your hair and nails done?? If anything that's a treat'... Well let me tell you..This is where social anxiety takes control. For me this was the first time ever of getting my nails done and the first time of getting my haircut *bar the occasionally cut by a close family friend* in over 5 years. Yes you read that right - I hadn't had my hair properly cut for 5 whole years.

Reading this sounds stupid..and believe me in my head it sounds stupid too. But the thought of having to firstly make an appointment, and then having to sit and make small talk with a human who I do not know overly well make's me feel literally sick to my stomach. But finally, I did it! I found someone who I could book via Facebook message rather then having to phone (if you to I have social anxiety try and find someone to do this - honestly makes life much easier)

The appointment was Saturday morning at 10am. I set an alarm for 8 but thanks to my anxiety I was up from 7 feeling like throwing up. The closer to 10 it got the more nervous I got resulting in shaking and sweating at the same time. When she finally arrived at my house all of the normal anxiety kicked in the struggling to speak because the lack of conversation topics, the blushing and shaking and the fiddling with absolutely anything to try and provide a distraction. Luckily for me my hairdresser was lovely, and I had my mum, sister and my boyfriend all around to support me (defo would recommend finding someone who can come to your house if you struggle with social anxiety).

Anyway, I survived!!!! I chose to get a trim, layers, thinning, and my fringe put back in and honestly my hair is so much lighter and nicer than it was before..finally hopefully it will be more controllable than it was!

Also my nails are the most adorable things ever!!!!! I tend to bite my nails when anxious so lets just say that she didn't really have much to work with but honestly the Disney look I went for really worked and makes me so so excited for my holiday to Disneyland Paris...only 7 days to go!

Thank you for reading, feel free to comment down below if there's anythings that you're scared of which you really shouldn't be! and feel free to follow me on twitter to find out when I post my next post - Probably a Disney planning and packing post!!!! @beckythellama


xoxoxoxo

Hello world...

Hello world...

Thank you for coming to visit my blog. After writing diary's for many years I thought it was time to take the plunge and start blogging in hope of making new friend's and helping other people who suffer from the same problems as me. This is going to be a place to release all the madness that goes on in my head - so please bare with me! It will include topics ranging from mental health to Disney to general lifestyle posts. So let me tell you a little bit about me..

My names Becky, I'm 19 years old and I live in Wiltshire in England. I work full time in childcare and spend most of my weekends seeing my long distance boyfriend of almost a year. I'm obsessed with anything Disney and really enjoy drawing and youtube.

My life has been a variety of highs and lows due to mental health problems appearing for as long as I can remember. Ever since I was a young I've been suffering from Social Anxiety, I'll probably do a more detailed blog post on this at some point but for those of you who don't know this means that you have an 'excessive and unreasonable fear of social situations' this means you struggle with a whole variety of things most people would find easy including paying in shops, speaking on the phone and speaking within groups of people you do not know.

Due to this anxiety as I got older I began to feel like I was different from everyone else leading to feelings of worthlessness which lead to the development of depression in around 2013. This depression on top of the anxiety caused me to drop out of sixth form after one year of A levels and then drop out of college after 6 months.

I'm happy to say now things are looking slightly more back on track after a year of counselling and then a year of being in my job and finding my partner. Although I'm still suffering with the social anxiety I've learnt how to control it better and although the depression still hits me hard on some days I've learnt that that's okay. I'm not perfect, I'm only human.

If you're still reading this I want to remind you that you too are only human. You're stronger than the negative thoughts in your head. This is not permanent and you can get through it.

You can do it. I promise.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and feel free to follow me on twitter to stay updated on when I post my next post or to have someone to talk to if you ever need any help. @beckythellama xox